Anger: Can it Ever be Beneficial?

Anger: Can it Ever be Beneficial?

To answer this we need to know what anger is, the different types of anger, recognize anger in our mind, see the harm that it is causing us and then we can see for ourself if there is any benefit. Let’s see what conclusion we come to by exploring the facts.

What is anger?

Anger is a delusion that arises from focusing on an animate or inanimate object, a

person, including ourself or inanimate objects such as the weather, or losing a tennis

match, considers them to be undesirable, exaggerates its bad qualities and wishes

to harm it. We can see that it takes many mental mistakes to get angry.

A lot of circumstances trigger anger in us, such as when:

•  ·      We exaggerate faults in others
• ·        Our wishes are frustrated and we don’t get what we want
• ·        We hold unrealistic views and beliefs
• ·        We are confused
• ·        We focus our mind on someone harming us
• ·        We have to put up with something we would rather avoid

Anger develops from the potential to get angry (seed of anger) that we have in our mind. When we meet someone or something that gives rise to an unpleasant feeling, we naturally develop aversion for it and wish to be separated from it. We mistakenly think that the unpleasant feeling is caused by the other person, when feeling is a part of our mind. What we feel depends upon our mind. The more familiar we are with getting angry, the easier it is to get angry. The tendency to repeat is a major characteristic of our mind. Another cause of our anger is imitating those with whom we associate; if they get angry regularly, it will be easier for us to get angry. It is important to choose friends that are a good influence on us. Bad habits of body, speech or mind will make it easier to get angry more often.

It is important to recognize anger in our mind. We all have the seed of anger, the potential to develop anger, so unless we are very well trained, we do get angry. It is quite easy to see our big anger, but maybe we don’t recognize our more subtle anger. Also, we can repress our anger and have no idea that we are getting angry at all. This would occur because we are highly motivated not to see that we get angry, which can come from thinking: anger is bad; only bad people get angry; being attached to seeing ourself as a good person; and good people don’t get angry.

We need to see anger functioning in our own mind and if we are paying close attention we will always notice how horrible it feels. If we know how anger develops and see it in our experience directly, then it will be easy to stop it before it develops.

 Anger has many faults  here are just a few examples:

•  ·      When we are angry, we are not aware of anything else so we can’t learn anything and we make terrible decisions
• ·      It leads to destructive actions and harsh language
• ·      Our wisdom declines and we cannot discriminate right from wrong
• ·      It destroys our positive minds.
• ·      Our tendency to get angry increases (becomes more familiar), which makes positive minds less familiar
• ·      Its only function is to cause us harm. It is the most destructive of all delusions
• ·      It destroys our joy of tennis which could lead to quitting tennis

·          It makes us tired physically and mentally

It is easy to see how all these faults can not help our tennis

Vision – What we are working towards

Our goal is to continually keep the ideal state of mind to play our best tennis. This is a calm, clear, positive state of mind that is always focused only on what we need to do on the court to play our best. This conjoined with a strong wish to win or play our best is the ideal state of mind.  A clear mind is a mind that is free from negativity or any distractive thoughts. With this state of mind, if our body is all right, we will naturally play our best all the time.

Solutions to anger

We have the potential to be anger free. To do this we first need to recognize the anger in our mind, know its faults and apply its opponent, patience. A trained, controlled mind is a free mind. An untrained mind easily goes to negativity and is not free. We can stay happy in any situation, and our happiness does not depend upon having favourable external conditions.

We need to contemplate the faults of anger so we will develop a strong intention to stop our anger when it arises and apply a method to overcome it. If we had something dangerous in our house we would get it out right away. We have something much more dangerous in our mind.

The opponent to anger is patience. Patience is a mind that can happily accept any situation that arises, by giving up on the idea that things should be a certain way. For example, it is normal for things not to go the way we want, thinking realistically in this way it is easier to stay patient when things don’t go the way we want. Patience is not forcing our way through a situation with a disturbed mind. It is a happy mind that sees things realistically. Most of our emotional problems are nothing more than not accepting things as they are – patient acceptance is the solution, not trying to change external situations. Patience is not passive; it is standing up to our delusions and taking control through taking a strong stance. There is nothing strong or courageous about reacting to difficult people and situations with anger – we are just being defeated by our delusions.

We need to be mindful throughout the day, watching our mind for delusions, negative beliefs, and inappropriate attention. We need to stop inappropriate attention and apply opponents as soon as possible. We can specifically remember and think of more faults of anger, which will increase our wish to eliminate it. Then, when we are on the tennis court our tendency to get angry will lessen and lessen.

We get angry at others, or in situations, because we focus on their faults and exaggerate them. To overcome this we can focus on others good qualities or think “how wonderful it is that I live in a great country and have the freedom to play tennis”, etc., or anything that makes it easy to stay happy and not get angry.

We need to understand that we can deal with any situation better if we have a calm mind. Think of any extreme situation, like a mixed martial artist competing or a fireman in a burning building, they are going to be more aware of their surroundings and make better decisions if they are calm.

Everything that is worthwhile is difficult at first, but becomes easier with practice and familiarity.